One week left, then it's goodbye to Colorado. It's different this time, saying goodbye without a date i hold onto in my mind for when i'll be returning. Every day it seems tougher than the last, i find new gems each day in the jaw-dropping creation which wraps it's beautiful arms in, on, all around & through me... am I really leaving this place? These people? This river? Valley? Ugh.. Each day too tho i'm gifted something new to look forward to in moving back to truly the most beautiful corner of the country.. I find myself dreaming about ferry rides in the fall... learning the cascades... the olympic peninsula.. beaches enough to explore for a lifetime. Floating the over 300 rivers which reliably feed our beautiful green land year round.. glory. I dream about spending more time with my family... is it possible I could really be close enough to see Liam once a week??... Chels & Cas? Ma & Pa? Mimi & Papa? Grandma? Aunts, uncles, so many little cousins now... I've already promised a ferry date to one Everest Pinneo:) and with Liam's little brother or sister now to come in August, my spirit's grown an undeniable magnetic charge pulling my gaze back home...
So one week from today I'll be just hours from hitting the coast near LA where i'll meet my family to take ma neph Liam to Disneyland.. stoked. And two weeks from today I'll be on a familiar journey up the 101. I realized just recently how intense the experience could be... see the last time I made the trek I had just graduated, popped the little nazarene bubble i'd found myself in, and took five or so days picking my way up the coast. I let loose my spirit, and met some of the most incredible souls along the way. I can still feel the weight of how significant an experience that drive was for me. See, I could've stayed in Cali, I could've stayed in the PNW, both safe places. But on the road I was given tastes of what I knew awaited me, and soon I would be back on the road heading to where I felt drawn to taste more, where I believed I could taste in abundance what I craved... that place was Colorado just a little over four years ago... what I craved was a greater diversity in our (humanities) observing of our place on earth... simple living, suffering with joy, oneness with creation.. And in pockets all over, I found it. So driving back up the 101, as the page turns on what seems to be the ending to my thickest most enjoyable chapter, I anticipate that with every familiar turn i'll encounter in a fresh way the 22 yr old luke. Remembering. This will be one of the greatest gifts of this journey. Remembering to where, through what, and with whom I've journeyed my last four years in this school called life.
It's amazing remembering. He's always interested in me, in using me, filling me, leading me, teaching me love, revealing Himself to me through His word & His people.. all of creation. I wish I could say the same about my interest in pursuing Him... there have been dark nights of the soul.. It's the remembering which turns the tides.
I wont forget tonight, walking out back the house to the creek under the light of the stars alone... just myself, I was met in silence by the comfort of my maker, and with all the question marks which litter the path I'm quickly approaching.. i found peace, the kind thats familiar but every time it feels like the first time.. ya know?. I found new forgiveness (it's offered each day always.. it's great), a fresh but familiar feeling that where i stand is good, today IS a day lived in eternity.. now. As I walked back to the house I noticed the fun pattern I'd made just a few days ago in the snow with my steps.. well, it was gone. The snow still spotty in places, but had melted enough to erase my path.. the path I had walked just a few days earlier was squiggly & all over the place, inspired by the fresh dump of white goodness... that day on that walk I was impacted by grace as the whole land was made new, the ground, trees, mountains, every step I took was new.. and in my heart I felt this same gift, experiencing tangibly & spiritually the reality of what is meant by 'white as snow'. But the evidence of this journey, tonight was nowhere to be found.. the journey is a new one, and tomorrow when it snows and a new carpet of the whitest white calls me to make a new journey, I surely will. His grace is new every day. I see the road ahead as though it had a fresh snow the night before... and even if the journey's already been made, there're fresh steps to be had along the way.. each day.
So the 101? Home? 2400 miles? Pray for me.. imma need it.. ha. Each day a little harder, but each balanced by new light shining over my destination. Lotsa clouds in Seattle (again, pray for me!), but something tells me i'll be reminded on the cloudy days to simply remember & be filled.. each day finding it's light.
So... right now sitting under a tree, by a stream... just found this gem of a psalm.. I wanna be like this tree.. they're the coolest
"...he is like a tree planted by streams of water... whatever he does prospers."
.. click for the whole thing...
~The creek out back~
