It's been a crazy few weeks. Several days ago we dealt with the splitting up of the rookie group, sending half of us down to the south office in Canon City, the other half staying here. That was tougher than anticipated. We've spent the last month together growing tight, living side by side in the parking lot, sharing life together, then they tell us we have to split up. Brutal. Anyway, I landed here at the north office which was my first choice (along with everyone else's.. which is why we had to draw from a hat), and today I will be given the opportunity to check out on Browns Canyon with a commercial group. If I do good, I start guiding, if not, I go to the bottom of the check out list... makes for a bit of a nervous situation. Pray for my customers' safety, and their confidence in my ability.
The river is at 3,100cfs today, as compared to 3,700 just two days ago. For a look at what I might be seeing today, check out this link to some youtube videos (http://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=browns+canyon+rafting+cfs&aq=f). The cfs on the videos varies, and with every move in cfs, drastic changes in the river are also to be expected.
Yesterday I feel I re-gained my 'chi'... I had a couple rough days getting dominated by the river, just feeling like every rapid was out to get me. It's as if with every bad line ran, the balance of respect vs. fear for the river was shifting weight over to the fear side. As I've grown to learn with all types of water, to operate successfully on the river requires a fearful respect where a balance between the two is realized. Yesterday I was on a boat with five other rookies @ 3,500cfs and we had no problem with any of the rapids... leaves a good taste in a pending guides mouth. The next step is growing that respect to a level of confidence where I can safely deliver a good time to 6 & 60 yr olds alike... being mindful of the liability.
This reality we can't shake as the river is constantly reminding us of its ultimate power over us. Yesterday the Arkansas saw its first fatality. A 20 year old girl was dumped out of the lower rapids and floated a good ways before eventually landing in a strainer and losing her life. Prayers for the family and friends surrounding this girl are being sent from hundreds of angles I'm sure... I can't possibly imagine what they must be going through, not to mention the guide on the boat.
I love the mornings. It's this time when my eyes have the energy to do the things they enjoy most... things like reading, writing, and just remaining open in general. I've grown a reputation for being sort of a grandpa around these parts... apparently going to bed at 10 each night as a raft guide isn't so typical. I sometimes wonder why I get more tired than everyone else... I usually end up blaming my eyes for their poor vision, which has never led to any sort of action outside of just sleeping. I probably should get some glasses... ugh.
I figured how to send pics to my blog via email and will be doing much more of that. This morning I uploaded a picture of my car in the foreground, with the sun setting over the mountains in the background. This is my home :)
Thanks for those of you who are covering me in your prayers... they are felt in the quiet moments throughout the day which are many. It's strange thinking the summer is already 1/3 the way through... come visit and get on a raft with meee!!
Pea Soup.
luke
Friday, June 10, 2011
Monday, May 30, 2011
"What I learned about Jesus tonight"
I had a pretty great conversation last night, one that I came back from excited to write about. Rather than re-write the whole thing, I think I'll just copy paste my journal raw, just changing the names of the people I reference...
Here it is, titled "what i learned about Jesus tonight"
"I need to start off this journal entry by reminding my fingers of their submission to the freedom I am feeling in my spirit. There should be no hindrances, this is and should be a place of freedom. Even as distractions walk in and out of my sphere, the spirit demands freedom to express itself through its places of living... me... all who have invited it.
So tonight I went slack lining with Chuck and Larry (fake names for blogs sake), the conversation that ensued our apparent obsession with walking across a piece of dental floss, is what has taken hold of my spirit tonight, and changed the way I see, well, so many good things.
Chuck was grown in the southern (this i will come to learn is crucial) church, and learned an emotional association with the church that was anything but good... good & true.
Larry has once had a faith, has a mother that reminds me of my own, and really the whole of his situation reminds me of my own... where I’ve been etc... These past few years he has strayed from his faith, but HAS once known Jesus (had a taste of the ice cream, and now realizes his responsibility to - now that he has tasted it and its goodness - have the whole bowl and share its goodness with others... man, we are to be those taste testers for other people, because we’ve accepted the gift of the whole bowl, and are priveleged to share it to others) and is responsible for that. He now struggles with Jesus being anyting more than 100% man, and believes that jesus was nothing more than that, man, who had realized his full potential to ‘feel’ and ‘be’ the power of God. It was Larry talking about this that made me see how yes, Jesus is 100% man, and was chosen to realize the full power of God, he, Jesus, accepted this, and through his committment to his creator brought deliverance for the world. And this was potentially grown over time... Jesus spending 40 days with the devil suffering and constantly being tested... shoot, did the Lord allow him to go there, so that he could grow the strength he needed to deliver the world?
Chuck has a tough view of christianity, and is a ‘one love’ being to his core - he is living in accordance to the moral code written on his heart. All the examples of christianity surrounding him are not of the Gospel, they are not fruitful representations of the spirit wolves in sheeps clothing, and he has experienced a molded (like the gross stuff that grows on cheese) form of christianity, not the true, fresh, real Gospel. Larry and I came to the same visual... we saw that it was like Chuck was learning to slack line (he is), and was trying to watch the slack line, while all around it there were people talking about how to do it (and explaining it wrong from lack of true experience)... all these people have blocked him from seeing that behind those people is bouncing around a quiet, beautiful, focused performance on the slack line that is true, real, and everything beautiful that he should strive to be some day... all the while knowing that (and having the scripture as guidance) starting off he is going to have wobbly knees, is going to fall a shit-ton, and will get hurt. When you see that person ‘living’ the good news of how to slack line, all of the sudden its as if the other influences and their draw begin to fade because the focus of your sense energy (the sum total energy that your senses are allowed to expel as a whole, committing whatever percent of that energy to whatever sense, equally or unequally distributing it) is on the one actually living it, and not speaking loudly about something he’s not actually living. And slack lining, it takes focus, so more than likely they won’t be talking about it and what they’re doing, but they won’t need words because their focus and attention to their goal is words enough preaching their ability. They carry themselves in a way that begs the question ‘what is the source of your strength/talent ’. The people I respect most in my life are those actually bouncing along, struggling to learn how to slack line, learning from the example we’ve been given and have our eyes, our senses, fixed on.
There was a lot of talk about the world, and Chucks problem with it, its religions, all the divisions etc, he believes God is a god of unity. And let me tell ya, Chuck has in many ways responded to the moral code written on his heart... at many points during the conversation he would share something he believed about the way we ought to live, and it would be as if he just quoted scripture directly... things about living simply, abandoning posessions, dying to self, loving all, things of this nature... and the spirit, by His grace, gave me scripture in those moments to follow, letting Chuck know that at the foundation of the way he believes he ought to live is scripture.
I’m trying to remember - and am frustrated now that I can’t - what we were talking about when the brainstorm above us was mixing conversation about the world and the many religions that have touched this earth. I forget exactly, but somehow we came to a beautiful picture of how God, the sovereign God of all creation, the whole (and awesome) universe, has told his story and how we’re meant to live in order to experience the fullness of life, in different ways to different cultures all over the world throughout all generations. Is this true? I do not know, how can anyone know fully? Do we know fully that christianity is the way? If we did, would it require faith? Wouldn’t it then be just fact? Faith requires some amount of doubt no? Anyway, would I put it past God to do this? To ‘inspire’ the writing of scripture, the happening of stories, all by ‘humans, their hands, in their sinful nature’? I shared with them how the verse in Romans 2 saved my faith in many ways (that verse is the one that lies in parenthesis, and says loosely quoted that people who haven’t heard the gospel, they are then responsible to live according to the moral code written on their hearts, and that this living would either accuse or excuse them on the day of judgement). This verse is in parenthesis (!!!!), and it freed me up more than any scripture ever has. This gives hope to those who don’t know Jesus, but live according to the calling on their hearts! And tonight, talking to Chuck, and combining my getting to know him with many other people I’ve met in similar shoes as him, I realized something. I realized, and really grew a deep hope that this verse extends to those who have not experienced the gospel in a ‘true’, ‘real’, ‘life-giving’ way that is unique to a person completely surrendered to Him, not those standing around the slack line talking about it, but those doing it. If you haven’t seen someone slack lining, if you haven’t been given a small spoon with a small taste of the glory behind the ice cream (jesus), then how can you be expected to ‘crave’ the whole bowl in a way that only people surrendered to Christ are. They live according to the code written on their hearts... How can an alter boy year after year forced to do all sorts of unimaginable things with his 'father' EVER be expected to come to Jesus?! Is there freedom for this boy if some day he chooses to live according to the code written on his heart, but putting aside Jesus and His requirements due to his experiences with the church? I just don’t know, but I can hope, and I can share, I can jump on that slack line, and shut my mouth.
I annointed Chuck tonight without him knowing it with the oil that Erin Jo gave me. I would like to invite you - whoever is on the other end of this - to come alongside me in prayer for both these two in their unique situations. Pray that if you're granted future interactions with either of them you would be nothing more than an example of what someone alive in Christ looks like, scars and all... ‘we’re not responsible to change people, just to love them’
I’m fading now, alhough so much still lies between the lines, this will suffice in sparking what was a beautiful memory of a night that the spirit was alive and working... so goodnight journal
So many beautiful things running through my soul... I feel like the lucky recipient of everything good tonight (somehow this description seems wholly appropriate)... It’s the feeling that comes with the assurance that you’re in a right place (I specifically didn’t say ‘the’ right place, because whose to say there aren’t other ‘places’ you could be that couldn’t also be right... it’s just that in saying ‘a right place’ you’re really saying that He, the spirit, is present and felt).
Also funny to remember that throughout the night we were running with a ‘just feel it’ campaign we had created earlier... everyting good requires feeling, and OH YA, wow... we talked about how in our lives there is a balance, and on one side is worry, on the other side feeling, the sum total of these two being 30 grams. Both worry and feeling come from the same source, the same materisl, and when someone has Jesus they’re given the gift to shift that worry over towards the feeling side and truly realize His presence, 'feel' His presence. When people take drugs to numb them from feeling because of worries, they’re taking away a chunk of that persons ability to feel the fruits of this world as well.. man, I don’t think I’m explaining this well, but in my head it makes total sense. Prescribed drugs take that 30 g down to “x” grams (where x < 30 ), and that person is no longer able to enjoy the balance being weighed more heavily on the side of goodness (in this scenario the balance is not meant to balance.. haha.. unusual i know but go with it) because they’ve lost the ability to. I saw this when Chuck was telling me about the drugs he’s given to stop him from worrying, and when he was about 5 minutes into talking about this I realized how thankful I was for the saving power of Jesus, and how He is a drug in-and-of Himself, the one that heals all, giving life not snuffing out our ability to feel but giving weight to the side of goodness.
Okay.. wow.. eyes feel like sumo wrestlers are bunjey jumping from eyelids... must go sleep!
Here it is, titled "what i learned about Jesus tonight"
"I need to start off this journal entry by reminding my fingers of their submission to the freedom I am feeling in my spirit. There should be no hindrances, this is and should be a place of freedom. Even as distractions walk in and out of my sphere, the spirit demands freedom to express itself through its places of living... me... all who have invited it.
So tonight I went slack lining with Chuck and Larry (fake names for blogs sake), the conversation that ensued our apparent obsession with walking across a piece of dental floss, is what has taken hold of my spirit tonight, and changed the way I see, well, so many good things.
Chuck was grown in the southern (this i will come to learn is crucial) church, and learned an emotional association with the church that was anything but good... good & true.
Larry has once had a faith, has a mother that reminds me of my own, and really the whole of his situation reminds me of my own... where I’ve been etc... These past few years he has strayed from his faith, but HAS once known Jesus (had a taste of the ice cream, and now realizes his responsibility to - now that he has tasted it and its goodness - have the whole bowl and share its goodness with others... man, we are to be those taste testers for other people, because we’ve accepted the gift of the whole bowl, and are priveleged to share it to others) and is responsible for that. He now struggles with Jesus being anyting more than 100% man, and believes that jesus was nothing more than that, man, who had realized his full potential to ‘feel’ and ‘be’ the power of God. It was Larry talking about this that made me see how yes, Jesus is 100% man, and was chosen to realize the full power of God, he, Jesus, accepted this, and through his committment to his creator brought deliverance for the world. And this was potentially grown over time... Jesus spending 40 days with the devil suffering and constantly being tested... shoot, did the Lord allow him to go there, so that he could grow the strength he needed to deliver the world?
Chuck has a tough view of christianity, and is a ‘one love’ being to his core - he is living in accordance to the moral code written on his heart. All the examples of christianity surrounding him are not of the Gospel, they are not fruitful representations of the spirit wolves in sheeps clothing, and he has experienced a molded (like the gross stuff that grows on cheese) form of christianity, not the true, fresh, real Gospel. Larry and I came to the same visual... we saw that it was like Chuck was learning to slack line (he is), and was trying to watch the slack line, while all around it there were people talking about how to do it (and explaining it wrong from lack of true experience)... all these people have blocked him from seeing that behind those people is bouncing around a quiet, beautiful, focused performance on the slack line that is true, real, and everything beautiful that he should strive to be some day... all the while knowing that (and having the scripture as guidance) starting off he is going to have wobbly knees, is going to fall a shit-ton, and will get hurt. When you see that person ‘living’ the good news of how to slack line, all of the sudden its as if the other influences and their draw begin to fade because the focus of your sense energy (the sum total energy that your senses are allowed to expel as a whole, committing whatever percent of that energy to whatever sense, equally or unequally distributing it) is on the one actually living it, and not speaking loudly about something he’s not actually living. And slack lining, it takes focus, so more than likely they won’t be talking about it and what they’re doing, but they won’t need words because their focus and attention to their goal is words enough preaching their ability. They carry themselves in a way that begs the question ‘what is the source of your strength/talent ’. The people I respect most in my life are those actually bouncing along, struggling to learn how to slack line, learning from the example we’ve been given and have our eyes, our senses, fixed on.
There was a lot of talk about the world, and Chucks problem with it, its religions, all the divisions etc, he believes God is a god of unity. And let me tell ya, Chuck has in many ways responded to the moral code written on his heart... at many points during the conversation he would share something he believed about the way we ought to live, and it would be as if he just quoted scripture directly... things about living simply, abandoning posessions, dying to self, loving all, things of this nature... and the spirit, by His grace, gave me scripture in those moments to follow, letting Chuck know that at the foundation of the way he believes he ought to live is scripture.
I’m trying to remember - and am frustrated now that I can’t - what we were talking about when the brainstorm above us was mixing conversation about the world and the many religions that have touched this earth. I forget exactly, but somehow we came to a beautiful picture of how God, the sovereign God of all creation, the whole (and awesome) universe, has told his story and how we’re meant to live in order to experience the fullness of life, in different ways to different cultures all over the world throughout all generations. Is this true? I do not know, how can anyone know fully? Do we know fully that christianity is the way? If we did, would it require faith? Wouldn’t it then be just fact? Faith requires some amount of doubt no? Anyway, would I put it past God to do this? To ‘inspire’ the writing of scripture, the happening of stories, all by ‘humans, their hands, in their sinful nature’? I shared with them how the verse in Romans 2 saved my faith in many ways (that verse is the one that lies in parenthesis, and says loosely quoted that people who haven’t heard the gospel, they are then responsible to live according to the moral code written on their hearts, and that this living would either accuse or excuse them on the day of judgement). This verse is in parenthesis (!!!!), and it freed me up more than any scripture ever has. This gives hope to those who don’t know Jesus, but live according to the calling on their hearts! And tonight, talking to Chuck, and combining my getting to know him with many other people I’ve met in similar shoes as him, I realized something. I realized, and really grew a deep hope that this verse extends to those who have not experienced the gospel in a ‘true’, ‘real’, ‘life-giving’ way that is unique to a person completely surrendered to Him, not those standing around the slack line talking about it, but those doing it. If you haven’t seen someone slack lining, if you haven’t been given a small spoon with a small taste of the glory behind the ice cream (jesus), then how can you be expected to ‘crave’ the whole bowl in a way that only people surrendered to Christ are. They live according to the code written on their hearts... How can an alter boy year after year forced to do all sorts of unimaginable things with his 'father' EVER be expected to come to Jesus?! Is there freedom for this boy if some day he chooses to live according to the code written on his heart, but putting aside Jesus and His requirements due to his experiences with the church? I just don’t know, but I can hope, and I can share, I can jump on that slack line, and shut my mouth.
I annointed Chuck tonight without him knowing it with the oil that Erin Jo gave me. I would like to invite you - whoever is on the other end of this - to come alongside me in prayer for both these two in their unique situations. Pray that if you're granted future interactions with either of them you would be nothing more than an example of what someone alive in Christ looks like, scars and all... ‘we’re not responsible to change people, just to love them’
I’m fading now, alhough so much still lies between the lines, this will suffice in sparking what was a beautiful memory of a night that the spirit was alive and working... so goodnight journal
So many beautiful things running through my soul... I feel like the lucky recipient of everything good tonight (somehow this description seems wholly appropriate)... It’s the feeling that comes with the assurance that you’re in a right place (I specifically didn’t say ‘the’ right place, because whose to say there aren’t other ‘places’ you could be that couldn’t also be right... it’s just that in saying ‘a right place’ you’re really saying that He, the spirit, is present and felt).
Also funny to remember that throughout the night we were running with a ‘just feel it’ campaign we had created earlier... everyting good requires feeling, and OH YA, wow... we talked about how in our lives there is a balance, and on one side is worry, on the other side feeling, the sum total of these two being 30 grams. Both worry and feeling come from the same source, the same materisl, and when someone has Jesus they’re given the gift to shift that worry over towards the feeling side and truly realize His presence, 'feel' His presence. When people take drugs to numb them from feeling because of worries, they’re taking away a chunk of that persons ability to feel the fruits of this world as well.. man, I don’t think I’m explaining this well, but in my head it makes total sense. Prescribed drugs take that 30 g down to “x” grams (where x < 30 ), and that person is no longer able to enjoy the balance being weighed more heavily on the side of goodness (in this scenario the balance is not meant to balance.. haha.. unusual i know but go with it) because they’ve lost the ability to. I saw this when Chuck was telling me about the drugs he’s given to stop him from worrying, and when he was about 5 minutes into talking about this I realized how thankful I was for the saving power of Jesus, and how He is a drug in-and-of Himself, the one that heals all, giving life not snuffing out our ability to feel but giving weight to the side of goodness.
Okay.. wow.. eyes feel like sumo wrestlers are bunjey jumping from eyelids... must go sleep!
Saturday, May 21, 2011
Week 1
It’s now been a week living in BV, and in all the good ways it feels like its been a month. The adventures thus far are a positive indicator of what is sure to be a summer rooted deeply in all the good things. I’ve in the past five days guided all seven sections of Browns Canyon... and can’t wait to guide them hundreds more times the coming months. Every moment on the river has me lost in metaphor and thanksgiving for the gift all around me all day... water. Water that will eventually make itself to the gulf, be evaporated up into a cloud, moved back over and up to the mountain top as well as the plains bringing the source of life to all living things. The cycle continues, and we continue to live within the wonder, but refuse to give proper praise. Clouds, rain, rivers & oceans have to me become a constant reminder of the presence of the holy spirit, the source of life, the wellspring... we need water, we need Jesus... there is no life outside these two.
Tomorrow I will travel down to the south office about 20 minutes outside canyon city for a week of rafting a different section of the river. Six of the twelve rookies will eventually have to go down and live at this office which boasts a better camping situation, better weather, but falls short of Browns Canyon in technical difficulty, as well as missing out on living in Buena Vista... a town thats uncovered a warm spot in my heart where simplicity and its benefits are clearly seen. I mean shoot, I went to a restaurant last night that had two items on the menu, both came with a salad which you can’t choose. Prime rib or sirloin... which’ll it be?! Had donuts at a place this morning thats been there since 1936, and all the recipes were the same original recipes from 1936, made with the same equipment. There was even a group of three eighty-somethings sitting at a table in the corner... it was perfect. Anyway, at the end of that week is when we are able to start checking out, and begin guiding.
I wish I could share a picture of my view outside my car... I sit here now with a 180 degree view of some of the most powerful & comforting mountains I’ve spent time around. The clouds these past week seem to be tireless in their climb up over the tops of these mountains, proceeding to rain down snow, rain, & hail all over this thirsty landscape. The clouds are a sight for sore eyes as all creation in this region was becoming a bit thirsty... but it has arrived faithfully, and the bad weather has brought life, that life giving life, and so on and so forth.
I’m going to go now and continue my journey through the first book in the lord of the rings trilogy... a journey I can’t begin to convey my excitement for. Near the beginning there was a quote that launched me into a new level of excitement.. it read “there came one day to bilbo’s door the great wizard, gandalf the grey, and thirteen dwarves with him: none other indeed, than thorin oakenshield, descendant of kings, and his twelve companions in exile.” I have a feeling they will come into play down the road. I’ve become enraptured with the mind of JRR Tolkien, his creativity and attention to every single detail, sprinkled with some extra detail. But not too much so as to rob you the opportunity to expand upon his creativity and paint a picture from the words you’ve been given. This is the blessing of literature we’re as a culture quickly loosing an appreciation for.
Alrighty... Off to dress for dreams. Signing out.
Tomorrow I will travel down to the south office about 20 minutes outside canyon city for a week of rafting a different section of the river. Six of the twelve rookies will eventually have to go down and live at this office which boasts a better camping situation, better weather, but falls short of Browns Canyon in technical difficulty, as well as missing out on living in Buena Vista... a town thats uncovered a warm spot in my heart where simplicity and its benefits are clearly seen. I mean shoot, I went to a restaurant last night that had two items on the menu, both came with a salad which you can’t choose. Prime rib or sirloin... which’ll it be?! Had donuts at a place this morning thats been there since 1936, and all the recipes were the same original recipes from 1936, made with the same equipment. There was even a group of three eighty-somethings sitting at a table in the corner... it was perfect. Anyway, at the end of that week is when we are able to start checking out, and begin guiding.
I wish I could share a picture of my view outside my car... I sit here now with a 180 degree view of some of the most powerful & comforting mountains I’ve spent time around. The clouds these past week seem to be tireless in their climb up over the tops of these mountains, proceeding to rain down snow, rain, & hail all over this thirsty landscape. The clouds are a sight for sore eyes as all creation in this region was becoming a bit thirsty... but it has arrived faithfully, and the bad weather has brought life, that life giving life, and so on and so forth.
I’m going to go now and continue my journey through the first book in the lord of the rings trilogy... a journey I can’t begin to convey my excitement for. Near the beginning there was a quote that launched me into a new level of excitement.. it read “there came one day to bilbo’s door the great wizard, gandalf the grey, and thirteen dwarves with him: none other indeed, than thorin oakenshield, descendant of kings, and his twelve companions in exile.” I have a feeling they will come into play down the road. I’ve become enraptured with the mind of JRR Tolkien, his creativity and attention to every single detail, sprinkled with some extra detail. But not too much so as to rob you the opportunity to expand upon his creativity and paint a picture from the words you’ve been given. This is the blessing of literature we’re as a culture quickly loosing an appreciation for.
Alrighty... Off to dress for dreams. Signing out.
Wednesday, May 18, 2011
BV
Three days now I’ve been living out of the back of my car. Buena Vista will be my home for this summer, and after only three days on the 40 degree water - today it even snowing - I can’t imagine a better way to spend these next three months. The people I’m working with - mainly the other rookies - have helped to make sense of myself in so many ways... they share a similar spirit, 6 of us 12 living out of our cars, the other six currently camping right near our vehicles with no plans to leave... seedlings for a beautiful, diverse community have been planted, and the looks of what will sprout I can only imagine.
This summer I will be retracting myself from the world of social media. I want to live fully here where I am, without living one curious toe in the Denver pool. I was thinking about it the other night, and with leaving fb for the summer I realized I may not feel its effects until a month or so into my ‘rehab’. I was at the Coyote Cantina last night with some good new friends, and near the mid of our conversation we all shared a similar reality... we realized we had felt a complete separation from the world these last two days, and hadn’t even realized the separation, other than that it felt good. That said, separation from multiple forms of media is something I’m extremely excited about... I feel like it’ll make tuning my ears (of the heart/spirit) a whole bunch easier.
The point of this blog really is to inform whoever is on the other side of this reading that I will be regularly updating my blog with whatever the spirit compels me to share... Also, I will have my phone and email, although not right on my hip all the time, I will be checking both regularly.
Off now to go get some grub... bye now.
This summer I will be retracting myself from the world of social media. I want to live fully here where I am, without living one curious toe in the Denver pool. I was thinking about it the other night, and with leaving fb for the summer I realized I may not feel its effects until a month or so into my ‘rehab’. I was at the Coyote Cantina last night with some good new friends, and near the mid of our conversation we all shared a similar reality... we realized we had felt a complete separation from the world these last two days, and hadn’t even realized the separation, other than that it felt good. That said, separation from multiple forms of media is something I’m extremely excited about... I feel like it’ll make tuning my ears (of the heart/spirit) a whole bunch easier.
The point of this blog really is to inform whoever is on the other side of this reading that I will be regularly updating my blog with whatever the spirit compels me to share... Also, I will have my phone and email, although not right on my hip all the time, I will be checking both regularly.
Off now to go get some grub... bye now.
Friday, April 29, 2011
'The Cross'
This summer I'll be re-entering the blogosphere, and pulling myself out of other forms of social media. I don't really feel the need to update on the past months of my life, rather going forward I'll be posting more regularly whatever heart murmurs make it through to my finger tips. Recently I was journaling my reaction to a documentary as I often do, but this one for me had a message far more powerful than many others I had seen. The documentary is called 'The Cross', and rather than go into it again for you, I thought I would rather just copy & paste my journal entry for that night... Enjoy :)
4/27/2011
"Lord, what is happening?
I just had a lovely day & evening, Josh and I went climbing, and I was blessed to have shared time with him, as well as with Him on the rock. We then had dinner with the wyldlife folks, good people these guys... especially that Cam, I can see something special in his spirit I hope he is soon to realize. After dinner, I went out for a drive before we were to watch a documentary together called “the Cross”. I'm still more than a bit shaken from this movie, its rocking my world.
Let me first say that I did not want to watch it at all, I was giving brian loads of crap for wanting to watch ‘such a crappy movie’, acting as though (& even lying) I had seen a trailer for it... I hadn’t. In fact, the only one I found online was a link to an old youtube video that would no longer play. Irony?
That said, we watched the movie. This thing is written about a now 68 year old man, Arthur Blessit, who has since over forty years ago committed his life to walking around the world, to wherever the Lord might lead him, spreading the gospel and moving in faith. His journey brought him through dozens of hostile territories, battle zones, places of the most aggressive oppression towards the christian religion, and he was led through it by the spirit, all the while carrying a heart overflowing with the joy that only comes from Christ.
The story he shares I don’t feel the need to describe... but its impact must be shared as being the single most influential testimony I have ever heard in my life... if it is true. Forgive my doubt lord, I want to believe, I beg for faith like this man. Through his life, I realize the power of your work in other peoples lives, and am thankful for this man and his apostle-esque approach to spreading the good word. He moved with power, direction, and peace carrying the message of the gospel.
During the film I decided to check and see how many millions of facebook ‘likes’ this guy has thinking “for sure, having done this for over forty years he must be ALL over social media”... there were two pages for him, one had 148 ‘likes’ and the other forty something. I was shocked at that moment, and as the evening progressed I became increasingly blown away by the fact that this guys story was not being heard throughout the social media world... of course he Isn’t! My Lord my Lord my Lord you are so amazing! This story not being the most amazing story being told in the media is unbelievable, literally unbelievable... it would take the work of God for this to be true, and it is, so thank you God for even showing yourself in how if you want to, you will not show yourself in the ways that we in our culture have become so trained to see things... you and your prophets will be heard when, where, and to whom they’re meant to.
I have felt more of a calling on my life this evening than I think I have ever felt... and every time in my weakness that it pops back into my head, even if just for an instant, I allow the doubt and lies to enter and tell me it could not happen and that it certainly is not God’s will. I will not allow myself to say this... to doubt GOD, to judge GOD and say that he may or may not be able to do certain things. More tears this evening than I can remember since Grandpa... and thats saying something considering these past months of the spirit taking over my life. I am just so moved... and afraid. Moved by his faith and wonder at how the lord brought his journey the distance it had, through what it had gone through, to get him to telling this story. Afraid at what should happen if I pray that prayer, the prayer giving the lord full permission to move in my life, to show me the direction I’m meant to go. It’s funny, I can totally see myself doing what this guy has done, and is doing... and it scares so many things out of me. I am just so encouraged! Those exclamations - just for tonight - are bursts of heart joy.. not signifying in any way an increase in volume or excitement. They represent the expansion of my heart, and the longing for Him that keeps pace with that growth...
If I were to die in my sleep tonight, I do not want to have not prayed that prayer... so I have to, and I am given confidence, from this mans life, in the life of Jesus, and his protective loving hand over my life. The lord will move in increasing ways in my life regardless of whether or not I see a vision tonight... He is risen, He is to be worshiped with all of our heart. Thank you Jesus for empowering your TRUE saints, the Arthur Blessit’s of the world whose stories only get told when You want them to be... not through social media or other recognizable forms of marketing, but through your faithful ones.. i suppose.
Lord, I am going to go to bed now... not because of the usual reason me being too tired to continue, but because I just can’t wait to enter into a time of prayer that will invite you wholly (wholly in what I am able to experience at where I am at in my walk) into my life.
“and when I’m doing well help me to never seek the crown, for my reward is bringing glory to you”
This is how Arthur lived. I am feeling good right now, my spirit needs to learn to recognize better its growth comes from Him, and give praise, give the crown to its rightful owner, with Joy.
Goodnight. Yes, it is."
4/27/2011
"Lord, what is happening?
I just had a lovely day & evening, Josh and I went climbing, and I was blessed to have shared time with him, as well as with Him on the rock. We then had dinner with the wyldlife folks, good people these guys... especially that Cam, I can see something special in his spirit I hope he is soon to realize. After dinner, I went out for a drive before we were to watch a documentary together called “the Cross”. I'm still more than a bit shaken from this movie, its rocking my world.
Let me first say that I did not want to watch it at all, I was giving brian loads of crap for wanting to watch ‘such a crappy movie’, acting as though (& even lying) I had seen a trailer for it... I hadn’t. In fact, the only one I found online was a link to an old youtube video that would no longer play. Irony?
That said, we watched the movie. This thing is written about a now 68 year old man, Arthur Blessit, who has since over forty years ago committed his life to walking around the world, to wherever the Lord might lead him, spreading the gospel and moving in faith. His journey brought him through dozens of hostile territories, battle zones, places of the most aggressive oppression towards the christian religion, and he was led through it by the spirit, all the while carrying a heart overflowing with the joy that only comes from Christ.
The story he shares I don’t feel the need to describe... but its impact must be shared as being the single most influential testimony I have ever heard in my life... if it is true. Forgive my doubt lord, I want to believe, I beg for faith like this man. Through his life, I realize the power of your work in other peoples lives, and am thankful for this man and his apostle-esque approach to spreading the good word. He moved with power, direction, and peace carrying the message of the gospel.
During the film I decided to check and see how many millions of facebook ‘likes’ this guy has thinking “for sure, having done this for over forty years he must be ALL over social media”... there were two pages for him, one had 148 ‘likes’ and the other forty something. I was shocked at that moment, and as the evening progressed I became increasingly blown away by the fact that this guys story was not being heard throughout the social media world... of course he Isn’t! My Lord my Lord my Lord you are so amazing! This story not being the most amazing story being told in the media is unbelievable, literally unbelievable... it would take the work of God for this to be true, and it is, so thank you God for even showing yourself in how if you want to, you will not show yourself in the ways that we in our culture have become so trained to see things... you and your prophets will be heard when, where, and to whom they’re meant to.
I have felt more of a calling on my life this evening than I think I have ever felt... and every time in my weakness that it pops back into my head, even if just for an instant, I allow the doubt and lies to enter and tell me it could not happen and that it certainly is not God’s will. I will not allow myself to say this... to doubt GOD, to judge GOD and say that he may or may not be able to do certain things. More tears this evening than I can remember since Grandpa... and thats saying something considering these past months of the spirit taking over my life. I am just so moved... and afraid. Moved by his faith and wonder at how the lord brought his journey the distance it had, through what it had gone through, to get him to telling this story. Afraid at what should happen if I pray that prayer, the prayer giving the lord full permission to move in my life, to show me the direction I’m meant to go. It’s funny, I can totally see myself doing what this guy has done, and is doing... and it scares so many things out of me. I am just so encouraged! Those exclamations - just for tonight - are bursts of heart joy.. not signifying in any way an increase in volume or excitement. They represent the expansion of my heart, and the longing for Him that keeps pace with that growth...
If I were to die in my sleep tonight, I do not want to have not prayed that prayer... so I have to, and I am given confidence, from this mans life, in the life of Jesus, and his protective loving hand over my life. The lord will move in increasing ways in my life regardless of whether or not I see a vision tonight... He is risen, He is to be worshiped with all of our heart. Thank you Jesus for empowering your TRUE saints, the Arthur Blessit’s of the world whose stories only get told when You want them to be... not through social media or other recognizable forms of marketing, but through your faithful ones.. i suppose.
Lord, I am going to go to bed now... not because of the usual reason me being too tired to continue, but because I just can’t wait to enter into a time of prayer that will invite you wholly (wholly in what I am able to experience at where I am at in my walk) into my life.
“and when I’m doing well help me to never seek the crown, for my reward is bringing glory to you”
This is how Arthur lived. I am feeling good right now, my spirit needs to learn to recognize better its growth comes from Him, and give praise, give the crown to its rightful owner, with Joy.
Goodnight. Yes, it is."
Thursday, April 1, 2010
He is God of this city too...
Twelve days left, and it seems there's been a turn. Didn't exactly premeditate what I would write for this blog, but have felt an urge to for once just throw up a short blog...
There has been an unexplainable turn these past days in my heart for this place, these people. Again, I can't exactly explain it, but my heart seems to have developed more than a pity love for the Haitian people. Sure, pity still remains in areas, but at the core i feel a love more like that which our Lord might have for them. A hurt for those who are lost spiritually... being with them, serving them, even when they don't serve themselves. All the while my imperfections seem to shine all the brighter when standing next to theirs... so much in that statement.
I stood on the roof a couple mornings right after sunrise (as the stinkin roosters continue to crow!) meeting Him for my morning quiet time, and worshiping with some good tunes... The song "god of this city" came on, and as the words 'for greater things have yet to come, and greater things are still to be done in this city' were sung, I lost it. He absolutely is! He is God of this city too... He is God of my heart, my life, and yours... and yes, believe it.. greater things are yet to be done!
I sat the other night with our three little boys on my lap and to their entertainment thumbed through an album on my phone which has all my photos from the last year. I'm not sure the last time I had looked at these photos as a whole, if ever. But my heart overflowed with thanksgiving at the blessings which have come my way, people, places, experiences the like. Whether it was Vail, Peru, Costa Rica, Seattle, road trips, weddings, Denver, San Diego wherever. Then as the timeline progressed, remembering how all along the way it was in increasing measure that I trusted his hand in my life, and in increasing measure that he met me. When ever shall I not trust his providence? Always friends... challenge me on this.
Recently the water project has been put on hold as we're trying to get the units unlocked from the port... until then we continue teaching at the Orphanage (which has been awesome and given me a WHOLE NEW appreciation for my elementary teachers.. shoot). But as the end draws near, it seems daily new apprehensions about my return settle in my head (nothinghecanthandle), but its good... perfect actually.
Remember on this the day where so many conspired against our King, that He is in fact risen... For you, for me, for all. As I sat in as teacher with the first graders today, it was so raw hearing their understanding of easter as we did arts and craft time... all of the kids choosing the easter theme for their craft. So much to ponder... I need to catch it before it settles.
He is exalted! Pray not for a direction to be led, but rather that He would lead you.
Here's to a random blog post!
Cheers!
There has been an unexplainable turn these past days in my heart for this place, these people. Again, I can't exactly explain it, but my heart seems to have developed more than a pity love for the Haitian people. Sure, pity still remains in areas, but at the core i feel a love more like that which our Lord might have for them. A hurt for those who are lost spiritually... being with them, serving them, even when they don't serve themselves. All the while my imperfections seem to shine all the brighter when standing next to theirs... so much in that statement.
I stood on the roof a couple mornings right after sunrise (as the stinkin roosters continue to crow!) meeting Him for my morning quiet time, and worshiping with some good tunes... The song "god of this city" came on, and as the words 'for greater things have yet to come, and greater things are still to be done in this city' were sung, I lost it. He absolutely is! He is God of this city too... He is God of my heart, my life, and yours... and yes, believe it.. greater things are yet to be done!
I sat the other night with our three little boys on my lap and to their entertainment thumbed through an album on my phone which has all my photos from the last year. I'm not sure the last time I had looked at these photos as a whole, if ever. But my heart overflowed with thanksgiving at the blessings which have come my way, people, places, experiences the like. Whether it was Vail, Peru, Costa Rica, Seattle, road trips, weddings, Denver, San Diego wherever. Then as the timeline progressed, remembering how all along the way it was in increasing measure that I trusted his hand in my life, and in increasing measure that he met me. When ever shall I not trust his providence? Always friends... challenge me on this.
Recently the water project has been put on hold as we're trying to get the units unlocked from the port... until then we continue teaching at the Orphanage (which has been awesome and given me a WHOLE NEW appreciation for my elementary teachers.. shoot). But as the end draws near, it seems daily new apprehensions about my return settle in my head (nothinghecanthandle), but its good... perfect actually.
Remember on this the day where so many conspired against our King, that He is in fact risen... For you, for me, for all. As I sat in as teacher with the first graders today, it was so raw hearing their understanding of easter as we did arts and craft time... all of the kids choosing the easter theme for their craft. So much to ponder... I need to catch it before it settles.
He is exalted! Pray not for a direction to be led, but rather that He would lead you.
Here's to a random blog post!
Cheers!
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