I had a pretty great conversation last night, one that I came back from excited to write about. Rather than re-write the whole thing, I think I'll just copy paste my journal raw, just changing the names of the people I reference...
Here it is, titled "what i learned about Jesus tonight"
"I need to start off this journal entry by reminding my fingers of their submission to the freedom I am feeling in my spirit. There should be no hindrances, this is and should be a place of freedom. Even as distractions walk in and out of my sphere, the spirit demands freedom to express itself through its places of living... me... all who have invited it.
So tonight I went slack lining with Chuck and Larry (fake names for blogs sake), the conversation that ensued our apparent obsession with walking across a piece of dental floss, is what has taken hold of my spirit tonight, and changed the way I see, well, so many good things.
Chuck was grown in the southern (this i will come to learn is crucial) church, and learned an emotional association with the church that was anything but good... good & true.
Larry has once had a faith, has a mother that reminds me of my own, and really the whole of his situation reminds me of my own... where I’ve been etc... These past few years he has strayed from his faith, but HAS once known Jesus (had a taste of the ice cream, and now realizes his responsibility to - now that he has tasted it and its goodness - have the whole bowl and share its goodness with others... man, we are to be those taste testers for other people, because we’ve accepted the gift of the whole bowl, and are priveleged to share it to others) and is responsible for that. He now struggles with Jesus being anyting more than 100% man, and believes that jesus was nothing more than that, man, who had realized his full potential to ‘feel’ and ‘be’ the power of God. It was Larry talking about this that made me see how yes, Jesus is 100% man, and was chosen to realize the full power of God, he, Jesus, accepted this, and through his committment to his creator brought deliverance for the world. And this was potentially grown over time... Jesus spending 40 days with the devil suffering and constantly being tested... shoot, did the Lord allow him to go there, so that he could grow the strength he needed to deliver the world?
Chuck has a tough view of christianity, and is a ‘one love’ being to his core - he is living in accordance to the moral code written on his heart. All the examples of christianity surrounding him are not of the Gospel, they are not fruitful representations of the spirit wolves in sheeps clothing, and he has experienced a molded (like the gross stuff that grows on cheese) form of christianity, not the true, fresh, real Gospel. Larry and I came to the same visual... we saw that it was like Chuck was learning to slack line (he is), and was trying to watch the slack line, while all around it there were people talking about how to do it (and explaining it wrong from lack of true experience)... all these people have blocked him from seeing that behind those people is bouncing around a quiet, beautiful, focused performance on the slack line that is true, real, and everything beautiful that he should strive to be some day... all the while knowing that (and having the scripture as guidance) starting off he is going to have wobbly knees, is going to fall a shit-ton, and will get hurt. When you see that person ‘living’ the good news of how to slack line, all of the sudden its as if the other influences and their draw begin to fade because the focus of your sense energy (the sum total energy that your senses are allowed to expel as a whole, committing whatever percent of that energy to whatever sense, equally or unequally distributing it) is on the one actually living it, and not speaking loudly about something he’s not actually living. And slack lining, it takes focus, so more than likely they won’t be talking about it and what they’re doing, but they won’t need words because their focus and attention to their goal is words enough preaching their ability. They carry themselves in a way that begs the question ‘what is the source of your strength/talent ’. The people I respect most in my life are those actually bouncing along, struggling to learn how to slack line, learning from the example we’ve been given and have our eyes, our senses, fixed on.
There was a lot of talk about the world, and Chucks problem with it, its religions, all the divisions etc, he believes God is a god of unity. And let me tell ya, Chuck has in many ways responded to the moral code written on his heart... at many points during the conversation he would share something he believed about the way we ought to live, and it would be as if he just quoted scripture directly... things about living simply, abandoning posessions, dying to self, loving all, things of this nature... and the spirit, by His grace, gave me scripture in those moments to follow, letting Chuck know that at the foundation of the way he believes he ought to live is scripture.
I’m trying to remember - and am frustrated now that I can’t - what we were talking about when the brainstorm above us was mixing conversation about the world and the many religions that have touched this earth. I forget exactly, but somehow we came to a beautiful picture of how God, the sovereign God of all creation, the whole (and awesome) universe, has told his story and how we’re meant to live in order to experience the fullness of life, in different ways to different cultures all over the world throughout all generations. Is this true? I do not know, how can anyone know fully? Do we know fully that christianity is the way? If we did, would it require faith? Wouldn’t it then be just fact? Faith requires some amount of doubt no? Anyway, would I put it past God to do this? To ‘inspire’ the writing of scripture, the happening of stories, all by ‘humans, their hands, in their sinful nature’? I shared with them how the verse in Romans 2 saved my faith in many ways (that verse is the one that lies in parenthesis, and says loosely quoted that people who haven’t heard the gospel, they are then responsible to live according to the moral code written on their hearts, and that this living would either accuse or excuse them on the day of judgement). This verse is in parenthesis (!!!!), and it freed me up more than any scripture ever has. This gives hope to those who don’t know Jesus, but live according to the calling on their hearts! And tonight, talking to Chuck, and combining my getting to know him with many other people I’ve met in similar shoes as him, I realized something. I realized, and really grew a deep hope that this verse extends to those who have not experienced the gospel in a ‘true’, ‘real’, ‘life-giving’ way that is unique to a person completely surrendered to Him, not those standing around the slack line talking about it, but those doing it. If you haven’t seen someone slack lining, if you haven’t been given a small spoon with a small taste of the glory behind the ice cream (jesus), then how can you be expected to ‘crave’ the whole bowl in a way that only people surrendered to Christ are. They live according to the code written on their hearts... How can an alter boy year after year forced to do all sorts of unimaginable things with his 'father' EVER be expected to come to Jesus?! Is there freedom for this boy if some day he chooses to live according to the code written on his heart, but putting aside Jesus and His requirements due to his experiences with the church? I just don’t know, but I can hope, and I can share, I can jump on that slack line, and shut my mouth.
I annointed Chuck tonight without him knowing it with the oil that Erin Jo gave me. I would like to invite you - whoever is on the other end of this - to come alongside me in prayer for both these two in their unique situations. Pray that if you're granted future interactions with either of them you would be nothing more than an example of what someone alive in Christ looks like, scars and all... ‘we’re not responsible to change people, just to love them’
I’m fading now, alhough so much still lies between the lines, this will suffice in sparking what was a beautiful memory of a night that the spirit was alive and working... so goodnight journal
So many beautiful things running through my soul... I feel like the lucky recipient of everything good tonight (somehow this description seems wholly appropriate)... It’s the feeling that comes with the assurance that you’re in a right place (I specifically didn’t say ‘the’ right place, because whose to say there aren’t other ‘places’ you could be that couldn’t also be right... it’s just that in saying ‘a right place’ you’re really saying that He, the spirit, is present and felt).
Also funny to remember that throughout the night we were running with a ‘just feel it’ campaign we had created earlier... everyting good requires feeling, and OH YA, wow... we talked about how in our lives there is a balance, and on one side is worry, on the other side feeling, the sum total of these two being 30 grams. Both worry and feeling come from the same source, the same materisl, and when someone has Jesus they’re given the gift to shift that worry over towards the feeling side and truly realize His presence, 'feel' His presence. When people take drugs to numb them from feeling because of worries, they’re taking away a chunk of that persons ability to feel the fruits of this world as well.. man, I don’t think I’m explaining this well, but in my head it makes total sense. Prescribed drugs take that 30 g down to “x” grams (where x < 30 ), and that person is no longer able to enjoy the balance being weighed more heavily on the side of goodness (in this scenario the balance is not meant to balance.. haha.. unusual i know but go with it) because they’ve lost the ability to. I saw this when Chuck was telling me about the drugs he’s given to stop him from worrying, and when he was about 5 minutes into talking about this I realized how thankful I was for the saving power of Jesus, and how He is a drug in-and-of Himself, the one that heals all, giving life not snuffing out our ability to feel but giving weight to the side of goodness.
Okay.. wow.. eyes feel like sumo wrestlers are bunjey jumping from eyelids... must go sleep!
Monday, May 30, 2011
Saturday, May 21, 2011
Week 1
It’s now been a week living in BV, and in all the good ways it feels like its been a month. The adventures thus far are a positive indicator of what is sure to be a summer rooted deeply in all the good things. I’ve in the past five days guided all seven sections of Browns Canyon... and can’t wait to guide them hundreds more times the coming months. Every moment on the river has me lost in metaphor and thanksgiving for the gift all around me all day... water. Water that will eventually make itself to the gulf, be evaporated up into a cloud, moved back over and up to the mountain top as well as the plains bringing the source of life to all living things. The cycle continues, and we continue to live within the wonder, but refuse to give proper praise. Clouds, rain, rivers & oceans have to me become a constant reminder of the presence of the holy spirit, the source of life, the wellspring... we need water, we need Jesus... there is no life outside these two.
Tomorrow I will travel down to the south office about 20 minutes outside canyon city for a week of rafting a different section of the river. Six of the twelve rookies will eventually have to go down and live at this office which boasts a better camping situation, better weather, but falls short of Browns Canyon in technical difficulty, as well as missing out on living in Buena Vista... a town thats uncovered a warm spot in my heart where simplicity and its benefits are clearly seen. I mean shoot, I went to a restaurant last night that had two items on the menu, both came with a salad which you can’t choose. Prime rib or sirloin... which’ll it be?! Had donuts at a place this morning thats been there since 1936, and all the recipes were the same original recipes from 1936, made with the same equipment. There was even a group of three eighty-somethings sitting at a table in the corner... it was perfect. Anyway, at the end of that week is when we are able to start checking out, and begin guiding.
I wish I could share a picture of my view outside my car... I sit here now with a 180 degree view of some of the most powerful & comforting mountains I’ve spent time around. The clouds these past week seem to be tireless in their climb up over the tops of these mountains, proceeding to rain down snow, rain, & hail all over this thirsty landscape. The clouds are a sight for sore eyes as all creation in this region was becoming a bit thirsty... but it has arrived faithfully, and the bad weather has brought life, that life giving life, and so on and so forth.
I’m going to go now and continue my journey through the first book in the lord of the rings trilogy... a journey I can’t begin to convey my excitement for. Near the beginning there was a quote that launched me into a new level of excitement.. it read “there came one day to bilbo’s door the great wizard, gandalf the grey, and thirteen dwarves with him: none other indeed, than thorin oakenshield, descendant of kings, and his twelve companions in exile.” I have a feeling they will come into play down the road. I’ve become enraptured with the mind of JRR Tolkien, his creativity and attention to every single detail, sprinkled with some extra detail. But not too much so as to rob you the opportunity to expand upon his creativity and paint a picture from the words you’ve been given. This is the blessing of literature we’re as a culture quickly loosing an appreciation for.
Alrighty... Off to dress for dreams. Signing out.
Tomorrow I will travel down to the south office about 20 minutes outside canyon city for a week of rafting a different section of the river. Six of the twelve rookies will eventually have to go down and live at this office which boasts a better camping situation, better weather, but falls short of Browns Canyon in technical difficulty, as well as missing out on living in Buena Vista... a town thats uncovered a warm spot in my heart where simplicity and its benefits are clearly seen. I mean shoot, I went to a restaurant last night that had two items on the menu, both came with a salad which you can’t choose. Prime rib or sirloin... which’ll it be?! Had donuts at a place this morning thats been there since 1936, and all the recipes were the same original recipes from 1936, made with the same equipment. There was even a group of three eighty-somethings sitting at a table in the corner... it was perfect. Anyway, at the end of that week is when we are able to start checking out, and begin guiding.
I wish I could share a picture of my view outside my car... I sit here now with a 180 degree view of some of the most powerful & comforting mountains I’ve spent time around. The clouds these past week seem to be tireless in their climb up over the tops of these mountains, proceeding to rain down snow, rain, & hail all over this thirsty landscape. The clouds are a sight for sore eyes as all creation in this region was becoming a bit thirsty... but it has arrived faithfully, and the bad weather has brought life, that life giving life, and so on and so forth.
I’m going to go now and continue my journey through the first book in the lord of the rings trilogy... a journey I can’t begin to convey my excitement for. Near the beginning there was a quote that launched me into a new level of excitement.. it read “there came one day to bilbo’s door the great wizard, gandalf the grey, and thirteen dwarves with him: none other indeed, than thorin oakenshield, descendant of kings, and his twelve companions in exile.” I have a feeling they will come into play down the road. I’ve become enraptured with the mind of JRR Tolkien, his creativity and attention to every single detail, sprinkled with some extra detail. But not too much so as to rob you the opportunity to expand upon his creativity and paint a picture from the words you’ve been given. This is the blessing of literature we’re as a culture quickly loosing an appreciation for.
Alrighty... Off to dress for dreams. Signing out.
Wednesday, May 18, 2011
BV
Three days now I’ve been living out of the back of my car. Buena Vista will be my home for this summer, and after only three days on the 40 degree water - today it even snowing - I can’t imagine a better way to spend these next three months. The people I’m working with - mainly the other rookies - have helped to make sense of myself in so many ways... they share a similar spirit, 6 of us 12 living out of our cars, the other six currently camping right near our vehicles with no plans to leave... seedlings for a beautiful, diverse community have been planted, and the looks of what will sprout I can only imagine.
This summer I will be retracting myself from the world of social media. I want to live fully here where I am, without living one curious toe in the Denver pool. I was thinking about it the other night, and with leaving fb for the summer I realized I may not feel its effects until a month or so into my ‘rehab’. I was at the Coyote Cantina last night with some good new friends, and near the mid of our conversation we all shared a similar reality... we realized we had felt a complete separation from the world these last two days, and hadn’t even realized the separation, other than that it felt good. That said, separation from multiple forms of media is something I’m extremely excited about... I feel like it’ll make tuning my ears (of the heart/spirit) a whole bunch easier.
The point of this blog really is to inform whoever is on the other side of this reading that I will be regularly updating my blog with whatever the spirit compels me to share... Also, I will have my phone and email, although not right on my hip all the time, I will be checking both regularly.
Off now to go get some grub... bye now.
This summer I will be retracting myself from the world of social media. I want to live fully here where I am, without living one curious toe in the Denver pool. I was thinking about it the other night, and with leaving fb for the summer I realized I may not feel its effects until a month or so into my ‘rehab’. I was at the Coyote Cantina last night with some good new friends, and near the mid of our conversation we all shared a similar reality... we realized we had felt a complete separation from the world these last two days, and hadn’t even realized the separation, other than that it felt good. That said, separation from multiple forms of media is something I’m extremely excited about... I feel like it’ll make tuning my ears (of the heart/spirit) a whole bunch easier.
The point of this blog really is to inform whoever is on the other side of this reading that I will be regularly updating my blog with whatever the spirit compels me to share... Also, I will have my phone and email, although not right on my hip all the time, I will be checking both regularly.
Off now to go get some grub... bye now.
Friday, April 29, 2011
'The Cross'
This summer I'll be re-entering the blogosphere, and pulling myself out of other forms of social media. I don't really feel the need to update on the past months of my life, rather going forward I'll be posting more regularly whatever heart murmurs make it through to my finger tips. Recently I was journaling my reaction to a documentary as I often do, but this one for me had a message far more powerful than many others I had seen. The documentary is called 'The Cross', and rather than go into it again for you, I thought I would rather just copy & paste my journal entry for that night... Enjoy :)
4/27/2011
"Lord, what is happening?
I just had a lovely day & evening, Josh and I went climbing, and I was blessed to have shared time with him, as well as with Him on the rock. We then had dinner with the wyldlife folks, good people these guys... especially that Cam, I can see something special in his spirit I hope he is soon to realize. After dinner, I went out for a drive before we were to watch a documentary together called “the Cross”. I'm still more than a bit shaken from this movie, its rocking my world.
Let me first say that I did not want to watch it at all, I was giving brian loads of crap for wanting to watch ‘such a crappy movie’, acting as though (& even lying) I had seen a trailer for it... I hadn’t. In fact, the only one I found online was a link to an old youtube video that would no longer play. Irony?
That said, we watched the movie. This thing is written about a now 68 year old man, Arthur Blessit, who has since over forty years ago committed his life to walking around the world, to wherever the Lord might lead him, spreading the gospel and moving in faith. His journey brought him through dozens of hostile territories, battle zones, places of the most aggressive oppression towards the christian religion, and he was led through it by the spirit, all the while carrying a heart overflowing with the joy that only comes from Christ.
The story he shares I don’t feel the need to describe... but its impact must be shared as being the single most influential testimony I have ever heard in my life... if it is true. Forgive my doubt lord, I want to believe, I beg for faith like this man. Through his life, I realize the power of your work in other peoples lives, and am thankful for this man and his apostle-esque approach to spreading the good word. He moved with power, direction, and peace carrying the message of the gospel.
During the film I decided to check and see how many millions of facebook ‘likes’ this guy has thinking “for sure, having done this for over forty years he must be ALL over social media”... there were two pages for him, one had 148 ‘likes’ and the other forty something. I was shocked at that moment, and as the evening progressed I became increasingly blown away by the fact that this guys story was not being heard throughout the social media world... of course he Isn’t! My Lord my Lord my Lord you are so amazing! This story not being the most amazing story being told in the media is unbelievable, literally unbelievable... it would take the work of God for this to be true, and it is, so thank you God for even showing yourself in how if you want to, you will not show yourself in the ways that we in our culture have become so trained to see things... you and your prophets will be heard when, where, and to whom they’re meant to.
I have felt more of a calling on my life this evening than I think I have ever felt... and every time in my weakness that it pops back into my head, even if just for an instant, I allow the doubt and lies to enter and tell me it could not happen and that it certainly is not God’s will. I will not allow myself to say this... to doubt GOD, to judge GOD and say that he may or may not be able to do certain things. More tears this evening than I can remember since Grandpa... and thats saying something considering these past months of the spirit taking over my life. I am just so moved... and afraid. Moved by his faith and wonder at how the lord brought his journey the distance it had, through what it had gone through, to get him to telling this story. Afraid at what should happen if I pray that prayer, the prayer giving the lord full permission to move in my life, to show me the direction I’m meant to go. It’s funny, I can totally see myself doing what this guy has done, and is doing... and it scares so many things out of me. I am just so encouraged! Those exclamations - just for tonight - are bursts of heart joy.. not signifying in any way an increase in volume or excitement. They represent the expansion of my heart, and the longing for Him that keeps pace with that growth...
If I were to die in my sleep tonight, I do not want to have not prayed that prayer... so I have to, and I am given confidence, from this mans life, in the life of Jesus, and his protective loving hand over my life. The lord will move in increasing ways in my life regardless of whether or not I see a vision tonight... He is risen, He is to be worshiped with all of our heart. Thank you Jesus for empowering your TRUE saints, the Arthur Blessit’s of the world whose stories only get told when You want them to be... not through social media or other recognizable forms of marketing, but through your faithful ones.. i suppose.
Lord, I am going to go to bed now... not because of the usual reason me being too tired to continue, but because I just can’t wait to enter into a time of prayer that will invite you wholly (wholly in what I am able to experience at where I am at in my walk) into my life.
“and when I’m doing well help me to never seek the crown, for my reward is bringing glory to you”
This is how Arthur lived. I am feeling good right now, my spirit needs to learn to recognize better its growth comes from Him, and give praise, give the crown to its rightful owner, with Joy.
Goodnight. Yes, it is."
4/27/2011
"Lord, what is happening?
I just had a lovely day & evening, Josh and I went climbing, and I was blessed to have shared time with him, as well as with Him on the rock. We then had dinner with the wyldlife folks, good people these guys... especially that Cam, I can see something special in his spirit I hope he is soon to realize. After dinner, I went out for a drive before we were to watch a documentary together called “the Cross”. I'm still more than a bit shaken from this movie, its rocking my world.
Let me first say that I did not want to watch it at all, I was giving brian loads of crap for wanting to watch ‘such a crappy movie’, acting as though (& even lying) I had seen a trailer for it... I hadn’t. In fact, the only one I found online was a link to an old youtube video that would no longer play. Irony?
That said, we watched the movie. This thing is written about a now 68 year old man, Arthur Blessit, who has since over forty years ago committed his life to walking around the world, to wherever the Lord might lead him, spreading the gospel and moving in faith. His journey brought him through dozens of hostile territories, battle zones, places of the most aggressive oppression towards the christian religion, and he was led through it by the spirit, all the while carrying a heart overflowing with the joy that only comes from Christ.
The story he shares I don’t feel the need to describe... but its impact must be shared as being the single most influential testimony I have ever heard in my life... if it is true. Forgive my doubt lord, I want to believe, I beg for faith like this man. Through his life, I realize the power of your work in other peoples lives, and am thankful for this man and his apostle-esque approach to spreading the good word. He moved with power, direction, and peace carrying the message of the gospel.
During the film I decided to check and see how many millions of facebook ‘likes’ this guy has thinking “for sure, having done this for over forty years he must be ALL over social media”... there were two pages for him, one had 148 ‘likes’ and the other forty something. I was shocked at that moment, and as the evening progressed I became increasingly blown away by the fact that this guys story was not being heard throughout the social media world... of course he Isn’t! My Lord my Lord my Lord you are so amazing! This story not being the most amazing story being told in the media is unbelievable, literally unbelievable... it would take the work of God for this to be true, and it is, so thank you God for even showing yourself in how if you want to, you will not show yourself in the ways that we in our culture have become so trained to see things... you and your prophets will be heard when, where, and to whom they’re meant to.
I have felt more of a calling on my life this evening than I think I have ever felt... and every time in my weakness that it pops back into my head, even if just for an instant, I allow the doubt and lies to enter and tell me it could not happen and that it certainly is not God’s will. I will not allow myself to say this... to doubt GOD, to judge GOD and say that he may or may not be able to do certain things. More tears this evening than I can remember since Grandpa... and thats saying something considering these past months of the spirit taking over my life. I am just so moved... and afraid. Moved by his faith and wonder at how the lord brought his journey the distance it had, through what it had gone through, to get him to telling this story. Afraid at what should happen if I pray that prayer, the prayer giving the lord full permission to move in my life, to show me the direction I’m meant to go. It’s funny, I can totally see myself doing what this guy has done, and is doing... and it scares so many things out of me. I am just so encouraged! Those exclamations - just for tonight - are bursts of heart joy.. not signifying in any way an increase in volume or excitement. They represent the expansion of my heart, and the longing for Him that keeps pace with that growth...
If I were to die in my sleep tonight, I do not want to have not prayed that prayer... so I have to, and I am given confidence, from this mans life, in the life of Jesus, and his protective loving hand over my life. The lord will move in increasing ways in my life regardless of whether or not I see a vision tonight... He is risen, He is to be worshiped with all of our heart. Thank you Jesus for empowering your TRUE saints, the Arthur Blessit’s of the world whose stories only get told when You want them to be... not through social media or other recognizable forms of marketing, but through your faithful ones.. i suppose.
Lord, I am going to go to bed now... not because of the usual reason me being too tired to continue, but because I just can’t wait to enter into a time of prayer that will invite you wholly (wholly in what I am able to experience at where I am at in my walk) into my life.
“and when I’m doing well help me to never seek the crown, for my reward is bringing glory to you”
This is how Arthur lived. I am feeling good right now, my spirit needs to learn to recognize better its growth comes from Him, and give praise, give the crown to its rightful owner, with Joy.
Goodnight. Yes, it is."
Thursday, April 1, 2010
He is God of this city too...
Twelve days left, and it seems there's been a turn. Didn't exactly premeditate what I would write for this blog, but have felt an urge to for once just throw up a short blog...
There has been an unexplainable turn these past days in my heart for this place, these people. Again, I can't exactly explain it, but my heart seems to have developed more than a pity love for the Haitian people. Sure, pity still remains in areas, but at the core i feel a love more like that which our Lord might have for them. A hurt for those who are lost spiritually... being with them, serving them, even when they don't serve themselves. All the while my imperfections seem to shine all the brighter when standing next to theirs... so much in that statement.
I stood on the roof a couple mornings right after sunrise (as the stinkin roosters continue to crow!) meeting Him for my morning quiet time, and worshiping with some good tunes... The song "god of this city" came on, and as the words 'for greater things have yet to come, and greater things are still to be done in this city' were sung, I lost it. He absolutely is! He is God of this city too... He is God of my heart, my life, and yours... and yes, believe it.. greater things are yet to be done!
I sat the other night with our three little boys on my lap and to their entertainment thumbed through an album on my phone which has all my photos from the last year. I'm not sure the last time I had looked at these photos as a whole, if ever. But my heart overflowed with thanksgiving at the blessings which have come my way, people, places, experiences the like. Whether it was Vail, Peru, Costa Rica, Seattle, road trips, weddings, Denver, San Diego wherever. Then as the timeline progressed, remembering how all along the way it was in increasing measure that I trusted his hand in my life, and in increasing measure that he met me. When ever shall I not trust his providence? Always friends... challenge me on this.
Recently the water project has been put on hold as we're trying to get the units unlocked from the port... until then we continue teaching at the Orphanage (which has been awesome and given me a WHOLE NEW appreciation for my elementary teachers.. shoot). But as the end draws near, it seems daily new apprehensions about my return settle in my head (nothinghecanthandle), but its good... perfect actually.
Remember on this the day where so many conspired against our King, that He is in fact risen... For you, for me, for all. As I sat in as teacher with the first graders today, it was so raw hearing their understanding of easter as we did arts and craft time... all of the kids choosing the easter theme for their craft. So much to ponder... I need to catch it before it settles.
He is exalted! Pray not for a direction to be led, but rather that He would lead you.
Here's to a random blog post!
Cheers!
There has been an unexplainable turn these past days in my heart for this place, these people. Again, I can't exactly explain it, but my heart seems to have developed more than a pity love for the Haitian people. Sure, pity still remains in areas, but at the core i feel a love more like that which our Lord might have for them. A hurt for those who are lost spiritually... being with them, serving them, even when they don't serve themselves. All the while my imperfections seem to shine all the brighter when standing next to theirs... so much in that statement.
I stood on the roof a couple mornings right after sunrise (as the stinkin roosters continue to crow!) meeting Him for my morning quiet time, and worshiping with some good tunes... The song "god of this city" came on, and as the words 'for greater things have yet to come, and greater things are still to be done in this city' were sung, I lost it. He absolutely is! He is God of this city too... He is God of my heart, my life, and yours... and yes, believe it.. greater things are yet to be done!
I sat the other night with our three little boys on my lap and to their entertainment thumbed through an album on my phone which has all my photos from the last year. I'm not sure the last time I had looked at these photos as a whole, if ever. But my heart overflowed with thanksgiving at the blessings which have come my way, people, places, experiences the like. Whether it was Vail, Peru, Costa Rica, Seattle, road trips, weddings, Denver, San Diego wherever. Then as the timeline progressed, remembering how all along the way it was in increasing measure that I trusted his hand in my life, and in increasing measure that he met me. When ever shall I not trust his providence? Always friends... challenge me on this.
Recently the water project has been put on hold as we're trying to get the units unlocked from the port... until then we continue teaching at the Orphanage (which has been awesome and given me a WHOLE NEW appreciation for my elementary teachers.. shoot). But as the end draws near, it seems daily new apprehensions about my return settle in my head (nothinghecanthandle), but its good... perfect actually.
Remember on this the day where so many conspired against our King, that He is in fact risen... For you, for me, for all. As I sat in as teacher with the first graders today, it was so raw hearing their understanding of easter as we did arts and craft time... all of the kids choosing the easter theme for their craft. So much to ponder... I need to catch it before it settles.
He is exalted! Pray not for a direction to be led, but rather that He would lead you.
Here's to a random blog post!
Cheers!
Friday, March 26, 2010
Floating On
Lets try and forgive, maybe even forget that it has now been just over three weeks since my last post, because believe me, as each day goes by I've felt an increasing pressure to throw up something to update y'all, but with each day also comes additional weight, more stories, and thus a thinner explanation of the many misadventures experienced since we last met. Reading my last blog over, I can't believe how much has happened... Ugh...
The sunspring project has continued along nicely, we've now done a total of nine installs, and have four more waiting in port somewhere, and will install two of them in PAP, one in Jacmel, and another in La Calle, once they have been released. Jack, our main Sunspring guy and now good friend, left on wednesday leaving all the maintenance, training, and additional installs up to Tyler and I... at least until we leave in three weeks. More here as it comes...
The orphanage teaching gig has been pretty sweet. We continue to remain flexible, filling the gaps where needed. I've continued to teach a weekly beginning english class (surprisingly difficult), and for a while there we both were teaching a bible class three days a week, not to mention an hour and a half of rec time with the little ones three days a week as well while the orphanage runs their feeding program for kids in the neighborhood.
Esperanza work, well, our main involvement here has been to solidify their long-term relationship with sunspring. For everything else we've mostly found ourselves on the sidelines.. which has been good. They had their big pastor conference two weekends ago for over 300 community church leaders, with the goal of helping them to have a greater understanding of what the bible says with regards to disasters and disaster relief. According to our main man here Joel, it was a great success! Neither tyler or I could tell ya though, as we took off for the weekend on the bikes up the coast to Wahoo Bay the first night, then the second night we found ourselves at Club Indigo, a ridiculously nice hotel which had been bought out for the time being by yours truly, the US embassy. Anyway, we had by chance met a woman there with the power to give us a room for the night, through the embassy... anyway, words (at least right now) can't describe how nice this break was... pictures to come later.
As I scan through my journal, obviously there is so much between the lines, but like I said, I'm a bit overwhelmed and don't want to leave y'all with a novel.
Oh ya, tyler almost died on the ride back, nearly hitting a bus head on, fishtailing his rear tire back-n-forth to avoid it... well done tyler.. that definitely would have ruined my evening. kidding.. i love you.
Other blogworthy stories, I'm not sure. This trip will at its end be defined by all the little moments which have burned their way into my memory, and reshaped my heart. Lately tyler and I have made an effort to spend more time with the people. Not your typical day to day throw all the little orphans in the air for an hour type of time, but rather meeting them where they're at, going to their place of living, at unexpected and certainly unusual times. Twice now we've wandered into the tent city right outside the Capital, both times well after dark. The first time we journeyed, our apprehension was met with equal amounts of excitement for what we were experiencing. This time we stayed mainly on the outer parts, but were quickly met with eager locals looking to 'just be' with us, sing with us, have a drink with us... and so it was... and it was perfect.
Our next journey to this same tent city, I'm not sure I am able to rightly describe what we lived that night... ill do my best. Walking alongside the high gates bordering the crumbled capital, we found ourselves in a paradoxical environment like i've never before experienced. Capital building crushed on one side, its people on the other struggling to survive in shanty tents.. unreal. Anyway, we dove into the 'city' and soon found ourselves wandering through hallways allowing only inches on each side for travel, walking along with the occasional light of a candle, burning coal, or maybe even a hand wound flashlight. The smell, I can't place it now with words, but should I ever smell it again my mind and imagination will surely carry me once again back to this place. *I should mention this is after a long dinner, a few drinks, a fateful KU loss, and a more than entertaining drive back (with our driver of course) that should you wish to hear about, just ask me over a bottle of wine and the stories will surely flow!* Allora... where was I. Oh ya, wandering. Minutes later we found ourselves at what - by tent city standards - might be considered a club... a reggae club of course! I don't even know where to begin describing this, all you need to know now is we spent over two hours singing, dancing, screaming Bob Marley lyrics at the tops or our lungs with these people... lyrics like 'get up stand up, stand up for your right' -or- 'one love, one heart, lets get together and feel alright'... if you know bob, you may have an idea just how powerful this experience was with his Best Of album rockin all night... and for that short amount of time we were there, it seemed that we all weren't... no longer were we in the very center of a torn and destroyed nation, no longer were we homeless or helpers, haitians or americans, we were people enjoying people. Again... perfect.
A very brief telling of a seemingly indescribable evening that simply cannot be replicated.
I guess I'll leave you with that... a hopeful story. You need know that these people, while suffering on CNN, bleed more joy as a people than we who sink our feet in the soil of contentment will ever understand. There are some things that cannot be explained, o'er blog or in person, and this would be one of those.
We go now to say bye to a friend leaving tomorrow so I have to sign off... but if/when I have more time (soon I hope!) I might tell you more about our bike journeys and how we got pulled over the other day and had to bribe the cops (apparently they dont like it when you don't have plates and try to run away from them), or about one of my bible kids descriptions of heaven, "a place where there is lots of food, and we never grow thirsty".. hmm. I will most likely talk about my learnings and struggles with patience, among other things... where I need prayer. But He is good, and 'as the wind blows where it pleases... so it is with everyone born of the spirit'... so float on people.. jump into the wind and enjoy the ride!
Thank you all for your prayers which fill the silences, and for your kind messages that are nothing short of an adrenaline shot.
Shalom and love to you friends!
luke
The sunspring project has continued along nicely, we've now done a total of nine installs, and have four more waiting in port somewhere, and will install two of them in PAP, one in Jacmel, and another in La Calle, once they have been released. Jack, our main Sunspring guy and now good friend, left on wednesday leaving all the maintenance, training, and additional installs up to Tyler and I... at least until we leave in three weeks. More here as it comes...
The orphanage teaching gig has been pretty sweet. We continue to remain flexible, filling the gaps where needed. I've continued to teach a weekly beginning english class (surprisingly difficult), and for a while there we both were teaching a bible class three days a week, not to mention an hour and a half of rec time with the little ones three days a week as well while the orphanage runs their feeding program for kids in the neighborhood.
Esperanza work, well, our main involvement here has been to solidify their long-term relationship with sunspring. For everything else we've mostly found ourselves on the sidelines.. which has been good. They had their big pastor conference two weekends ago for over 300 community church leaders, with the goal of helping them to have a greater understanding of what the bible says with regards to disasters and disaster relief. According to our main man here Joel, it was a great success! Neither tyler or I could tell ya though, as we took off for the weekend on the bikes up the coast to Wahoo Bay the first night, then the second night we found ourselves at Club Indigo, a ridiculously nice hotel which had been bought out for the time being by yours truly, the US embassy. Anyway, we had by chance met a woman there with the power to give us a room for the night, through the embassy... anyway, words (at least right now) can't describe how nice this break was... pictures to come later.
As I scan through my journal, obviously there is so much between the lines, but like I said, I'm a bit overwhelmed and don't want to leave y'all with a novel.
Oh ya, tyler almost died on the ride back, nearly hitting a bus head on, fishtailing his rear tire back-n-forth to avoid it... well done tyler.. that definitely would have ruined my evening. kidding.. i love you.
Other blogworthy stories, I'm not sure. This trip will at its end be defined by all the little moments which have burned their way into my memory, and reshaped my heart. Lately tyler and I have made an effort to spend more time with the people. Not your typical day to day throw all the little orphans in the air for an hour type of time, but rather meeting them where they're at, going to their place of living, at unexpected and certainly unusual times. Twice now we've wandered into the tent city right outside the Capital, both times well after dark. The first time we journeyed, our apprehension was met with equal amounts of excitement for what we were experiencing. This time we stayed mainly on the outer parts, but were quickly met with eager locals looking to 'just be' with us, sing with us, have a drink with us... and so it was... and it was perfect.
Our next journey to this same tent city, I'm not sure I am able to rightly describe what we lived that night... ill do my best. Walking alongside the high gates bordering the crumbled capital, we found ourselves in a paradoxical environment like i've never before experienced. Capital building crushed on one side, its people on the other struggling to survive in shanty tents.. unreal. Anyway, we dove into the 'city' and soon found ourselves wandering through hallways allowing only inches on each side for travel, walking along with the occasional light of a candle, burning coal, or maybe even a hand wound flashlight. The smell, I can't place it now with words, but should I ever smell it again my mind and imagination will surely carry me once again back to this place. *I should mention this is after a long dinner, a few drinks, a fateful KU loss, and a more than entertaining drive back (with our driver of course) that should you wish to hear about, just ask me over a bottle of wine and the stories will surely flow!* Allora... where was I. Oh ya, wandering. Minutes later we found ourselves at what - by tent city standards - might be considered a club... a reggae club of course! I don't even know where to begin describing this, all you need to know now is we spent over two hours singing, dancing, screaming Bob Marley lyrics at the tops or our lungs with these people... lyrics like 'get up stand up, stand up for your right' -or- 'one love, one heart, lets get together and feel alright'... if you know bob, you may have an idea just how powerful this experience was with his Best Of album rockin all night... and for that short amount of time we were there, it seemed that we all weren't... no longer were we in the very center of a torn and destroyed nation, no longer were we homeless or helpers, haitians or americans, we were people enjoying people. Again... perfect.
A very brief telling of a seemingly indescribable evening that simply cannot be replicated.
I guess I'll leave you with that... a hopeful story. You need know that these people, while suffering on CNN, bleed more joy as a people than we who sink our feet in the soil of contentment will ever understand. There are some things that cannot be explained, o'er blog or in person, and this would be one of those.
We go now to say bye to a friend leaving tomorrow so I have to sign off... but if/when I have more time (soon I hope!) I might tell you more about our bike journeys and how we got pulled over the other day and had to bribe the cops (apparently they dont like it when you don't have plates and try to run away from them), or about one of my bible kids descriptions of heaven, "a place where there is lots of food, and we never grow thirsty".. hmm. I will most likely talk about my learnings and struggles with patience, among other things... where I need prayer. But He is good, and 'as the wind blows where it pleases... so it is with everyone born of the spirit'... so float on people.. jump into the wind and enjoy the ride!
Thank you all for your prayers which fill the silences, and for your kind messages that are nothing short of an adrenaline shot.
Shalom and love to you friends!
luke
Thursday, March 4, 2010
Bathing in glorious riches not of this world...
... my cup overflows.
"I keep asking that the God of our lord Jesus Christ, the glorious Father, may give you the spirit of wisdom and revelation, so that you may know him better. I pray also that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which he has called you, the riches of his glorious inheritance in the saints, and his incomparably great power for those who believe." Ephesians 1:17-21
If you pray for me, let this be your prayer. I am in a strangely wonderful spot in my faith. Lately i've been struggling to figure the next level, how i'm meant to grow in my walk. I've birthed a new passion for the word... my favorite part of the day is its beginning, waking up far too early with the crow of the million roosters outside my window, stumbling out to the patio, and entering into Him, inviting Him to join me today, every day. I pray for a spirit of wisdom and revalation, but mainly that I may know... him... better. Knowing him better has meant a melted spirit, an aching heart... a love for the things He loves, and a keen awareness of the things 'not' of Him. Most of all, giving thanks... in every and all situations! Learning this more and more as the Haitians continue worshiping in the midst of a death count pushing a half a million. Welcoming Him in to melt me, bring me to tears with His word, and His perfectly unfolding plan for my life, for each of our lives, if only we will lift our hands in surrender.. pause... and listen. I just couldnt tell you why, but this morning I lost it reading Psalm 63... "O God, you are my God, earnestly I seek you; my soul thirsts for you, my body longs for you, in a dry and weary land, where there is no water... Because your love is better than life, my lips will glorify you. I will praise you as long as i live, and in your name I will lift up my hands." I just kept on reading this.. then psalm 62.. "find rest, o my soul, in God alone, my hope comes from him. He alone is my rock and my salvation, He is my fortress, I will not be shaken."
So much comfort in these words this morning...
I relate to Paul the best I think, often times feeling like the foremost of sinners. Lately I've had death on the mind... I don't fear death.. but i sure do think about it more than might be considered healthy. I've never actually seen a dead body.. but I pray now for strength when someone close to me goes home, as I think I might just lose it. I think equally about my salvation, and pray every morning that I would walk, He would steer me, towards a life worth boasting about, boasting the only way that boasting makes spiritual sense, in what He has done in my life... and that I may live in a way where I can stand confidently in front of Him, and hear those words 'well done my good and faithful servant'... entering into eternal awesomeness, where pain, suffering, sin and sorrow are just simply not welcome.
Speaking of death... we bought a brand new motorcycle the other day for $900, and have another on the way tomorrow!
:()
I haven't gotten too excited though cause on the ride back from the shop, the rear tire got a leak and was completely flat by the time we came back outside to take it for another spin. We got it fixed for 50 gourds ($1.25) and took it out for a test ride around the block after getting it home... another flat!!
God... are you trying to say something?
I shouldn't be surprised though, as I'm sure my mom, and probably her little prayer warrior friends have been praying for anything to prevent me getting on a bike... in haiti. Ha! I must say though that while i LOVE bikes, it is definitely a love hate relationship. More often than not, whenever I ride, something on me or the bike ends up breaking. Not to mention that driving in Haiti is as fun as it is freaky! Strange how that works... Also, we don't have our helmets yet, and I haven't renewed my health insurance... Hmm...
On another note...
This sunspring project only gets better and better. Today we did our sixth and seventh install, moving like a well oiled machine, it was great! These installs today were amazing... mainly the first. We set up the system at an evangalistic school/tent city, on the inside of a 10 or so foot wall, and ran a line to the outside of the wall, the public, giving them two spickets. We finished the job, went outside and and began ourselves drinking the water, and before we could finish our drinks (no joke) there were people running up the hill with 5 gallon buckets rushing to get in the already growing line!!
I can't remember having such a full spirit... a spirit of thanksgiving for the privelidge of being a part of this... a spirit of joy, experiencing these peoples joy as they realize they now have limitless amounts of perfectly clean water. And at 5,000 gallons/day, it was unreal looking out over the shackled city below knowing ALL will have access.
Jack Barker, the founder and inventor of the Sunspring, has been living with us the past two weeks, and what a priviledge it has been. Their company is based out of Colorado, so I hope (trying to manage my expectations/excitement at the prospect) to dive deeper into a relationship with this company. This type of work - purposeful, passionate, challenging work - is what gets my juices flowing... so for now i cross my fingers, and continue to trust that He will lead, and pray that if he wants to use me, my skills, to educate people, governments, ngos, corporations, on how they can put a dent in the over 1.2 billion who do not have access to what should be a basic, unalianable right, of clean drinking water, then I will do it, and I will do it with the same joy and thanksgiving I felt today. I get goosebumps thinking of the impact this thing could have on the world.... so cool!
I should end it here... so much more to share, but I'll leave you with some pictures below of the last few days... *ok i lied.. i just tried uploading 4 and it took over 30 min and then epic fail, it crashed... so i'll figure a way to get some up tomorrow because the pictures would really illuminate the story a bit*
Know my spirit is overflowing... my heart daily being melted for the things He cares about... and as for now, I do not have access to a working motorcycle, so we can all just take a deep breath...
Love to you all!
Living deliberately,
luke
Shoot... did I forget to mention that I tought my first english class on wednesday?! Oh man.. i'll have to tell about that later!
"I keep asking that the God of our lord Jesus Christ, the glorious Father, may give you the spirit of wisdom and revelation, so that you may know him better. I pray also that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which he has called you, the riches of his glorious inheritance in the saints, and his incomparably great power for those who believe." Ephesians 1:17-21
If you pray for me, let this be your prayer. I am in a strangely wonderful spot in my faith. Lately i've been struggling to figure the next level, how i'm meant to grow in my walk. I've birthed a new passion for the word... my favorite part of the day is its beginning, waking up far too early with the crow of the million roosters outside my window, stumbling out to the patio, and entering into Him, inviting Him to join me today, every day. I pray for a spirit of wisdom and revalation, but mainly that I may know... him... better. Knowing him better has meant a melted spirit, an aching heart... a love for the things He loves, and a keen awareness of the things 'not' of Him. Most of all, giving thanks... in every and all situations! Learning this more and more as the Haitians continue worshiping in the midst of a death count pushing a half a million. Welcoming Him in to melt me, bring me to tears with His word, and His perfectly unfolding plan for my life, for each of our lives, if only we will lift our hands in surrender.. pause... and listen. I just couldnt tell you why, but this morning I lost it reading Psalm 63... "O God, you are my God, earnestly I seek you; my soul thirsts for you, my body longs for you, in a dry and weary land, where there is no water... Because your love is better than life, my lips will glorify you. I will praise you as long as i live, and in your name I will lift up my hands." I just kept on reading this.. then psalm 62.. "find rest, o my soul, in God alone, my hope comes from him. He alone is my rock and my salvation, He is my fortress, I will not be shaken."
So much comfort in these words this morning...
I relate to Paul the best I think, often times feeling like the foremost of sinners. Lately I've had death on the mind... I don't fear death.. but i sure do think about it more than might be considered healthy. I've never actually seen a dead body.. but I pray now for strength when someone close to me goes home, as I think I might just lose it. I think equally about my salvation, and pray every morning that I would walk, He would steer me, towards a life worth boasting about, boasting the only way that boasting makes spiritual sense, in what He has done in my life... and that I may live in a way where I can stand confidently in front of Him, and hear those words 'well done my good and faithful servant'... entering into eternal awesomeness, where pain, suffering, sin and sorrow are just simply not welcome.
Speaking of death... we bought a brand new motorcycle the other day for $900, and have another on the way tomorrow!
:()
I haven't gotten too excited though cause on the ride back from the shop, the rear tire got a leak and was completely flat by the time we came back outside to take it for another spin. We got it fixed for 50 gourds ($1.25) and took it out for a test ride around the block after getting it home... another flat!!
God... are you trying to say something?
I shouldn't be surprised though, as I'm sure my mom, and probably her little prayer warrior friends have been praying for anything to prevent me getting on a bike... in haiti. Ha! I must say though that while i LOVE bikes, it is definitely a love hate relationship. More often than not, whenever I ride, something on me or the bike ends up breaking. Not to mention that driving in Haiti is as fun as it is freaky! Strange how that works... Also, we don't have our helmets yet, and I haven't renewed my health insurance... Hmm...
On another note...
This sunspring project only gets better and better. Today we did our sixth and seventh install, moving like a well oiled machine, it was great! These installs today were amazing... mainly the first. We set up the system at an evangalistic school/tent city, on the inside of a 10 or so foot wall, and ran a line to the outside of the wall, the public, giving them two spickets. We finished the job, went outside and and began ourselves drinking the water, and before we could finish our drinks (no joke) there were people running up the hill with 5 gallon buckets rushing to get in the already growing line!!
I can't remember having such a full spirit... a spirit of thanksgiving for the privelidge of being a part of this... a spirit of joy, experiencing these peoples joy as they realize they now have limitless amounts of perfectly clean water. And at 5,000 gallons/day, it was unreal looking out over the shackled city below knowing ALL will have access.
Jack Barker, the founder and inventor of the Sunspring, has been living with us the past two weeks, and what a priviledge it has been. Their company is based out of Colorado, so I hope (trying to manage my expectations/excitement at the prospect) to dive deeper into a relationship with this company. This type of work - purposeful, passionate, challenging work - is what gets my juices flowing... so for now i cross my fingers, and continue to trust that He will lead, and pray that if he wants to use me, my skills, to educate people, governments, ngos, corporations, on how they can put a dent in the over 1.2 billion who do not have access to what should be a basic, unalianable right, of clean drinking water, then I will do it, and I will do it with the same joy and thanksgiving I felt today. I get goosebumps thinking of the impact this thing could have on the world.... so cool!
I should end it here... so much more to share, but I'll leave you with some pictures below of the last few days... *ok i lied.. i just tried uploading 4 and it took over 30 min and then epic fail, it crashed... so i'll figure a way to get some up tomorrow because the pictures would really illuminate the story a bit*
Know my spirit is overflowing... my heart daily being melted for the things He cares about... and as for now, I do not have access to a working motorcycle, so we can all just take a deep breath...
Love to you all!
Living deliberately,
luke
Shoot... did I forget to mention that I tought my first english class on wednesday?! Oh man.. i'll have to tell about that later!
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